Stir together:
1/2 cup flour
Pinch salt
Breadcrumbs – 2 slices of bread whirled in a food processor
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon rind if you have any
¼ cup cocoa (first American aberration)
1 Tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp allspice
Measure 5 ½ cups of fruit in another bowl:
3 cups raisins
1 cup dried cranberries
1 ½ cups candied fruit
Some chopped almonds, if you like nuts
Or whatever ratio of the above that you like
Melt about ¼ cup butter or margarine.
To the dry ingredients, add the melted butter, 2 eggs and about ¼ cup of brandy or fruit juice. Stir well and add to the fruit. At this point, call everyone in the house to the kitchen. It’s traditional for all to take a turn at the stirring while making a wish. I personally think this is done so that everyone will have a stake in the outcome and will agree to eat some on Christmas Day.
Grease a five cup Pyrex bowl, put in the fruity batter, cover with aluminum foil, and steam on high in a crock pot for about 6 hours. When it’s cool enough to handle, remove from the crock pot, let it cool, cover with plastic wrap, and store in an airtight plastic bag in an unreachable corner of the refrigerator until Christmas. Haul it out the day you are serving it, replace the plastic wrap with aluminum foil, and steam it in the crock pot again for about two hours. You’ll be sorry if you forget to remove the plastic wrap. It won’t matter if you forget the pudding while it’s steaming, because 4 or 5 hours wouldn’t harm this indestructible blob.
Brandy butter. Cream together:
Half a stick of butter
1 cup confectioner’s sugar
A little milk, just so there is something virtuous in there
Add brandy – as much as it takes. Our family doesn’t drink, but oh! do they like a generous portion of tipsiness to drown out the pudding! Come to think of it, go back and double everything above.
Serve with flair. Run a thin knife around the edge of the pudding to loosen it. Cover with a pretty plate and turn both together so that the upside down plate is now right side up, and the pudding is on its head. It won’t get a headache, although you might if you eat too much brandy butter. It’s important that you unmold the pudding while it’s quite warm. Pour a little brandy in a cup or bowl and warm for a few seconds in the microwave. The last time I did this, I probably used a quarter of a cup, and it was too much. The silly thing burned for five minutes and almost singed the children’s hair. So, let’s say less than ¼ cup brandy warmed for 10 to 15 seconds. It needs to be hot but not boiling. Make sure all guests are watching as you pour the hot brandy over the pudding and immediately touch a lighted match to the bottom. If you use too much brandy, the family will have time to sing ALL the verses of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” before the flame goes out. If you used a paper plate to avoid having to wash the dish, the plate will now self destruct, ruining the pudding. Settle everyone at the table and divide up the brandy butter, and all will go home happy. Ideally, you’d slice the pudding and pass the brandy butter to the children first so that Uncle Jim doesn’t hog it all for himself. This isn’t going to work, anyway, because the pudding will crumble. You might as well just use a spoon to dole it out. It’s really better if no one looks at his plate while eating because the pudding looks like a mess or worse. You might start a discussion of Christmas customs in England, bringing in Scrooge and some of the ghosts if you need to scare anyone into submission.
As they say in England, “Happy Christmas!”
