Wing Nut

I have one wing out of commission today.  It began yesterday, repeating a malady that has hit two or three times before.  Since it’s my left arm that is affected, I guess that makes me right wing – yes, a real wing nut.  There was nobody with me in the house last night, and I just sat and groaned.  I probably sounded like a sick whale.  I knew I hadn't gotten better during the night when I woke up on my back.  I never sleep on my back!  I wouldn’t bore you with the trials of old age, but it’s funny.  It’s funny because it isn’t happening to you.  I told husband John the other day that old age always takes me by surprise.  When I was young, I never imagined getting old.  If I saw my mother limp, I said to myself that I wouldn’t do that.  I’d walk straight.  The laugh was on me, since I’ve walked with a cane since July 2010.

I never know whether to ice or heat an aching muscle, so I did both.  I kept the shoulder warm under the duvet all night and exposed it to a brisk 45 degree breeze at the beach.  Nothing seemed to help.  I found an OTC pain killer that was only slightly out of date.  (My daughter will roll her eyes when she reads that sentence.)  Since I’m a pessimist, I don’t expect it to help, anyway.

Closing the car door was a real hurdle.  Out of habit the left arm reached out and quickly fell back.  Right arm sighed and dramatically reached across to pull at the top of the door and retract quickly before being caught.  Oddly enough, using the cane didn’t hurt.  Getting dressed once for walking and a second time for going to work was a struggle.  If my clothes looked a little lopsided, it’s because they were.  I proceeded with the hair wash cycle, easily putting shampoo in the left hand.  Great!  Looking down, I wondered how I could get it on top of my head.  Shutting my eyes, I groaned and went THWAP!  Not bad.  The right hand stoically did the washing and rinsing.  There were lots of useless grunts and groans as I toweled off and tried to remove moisture from my hair.  I held the hair dryer in one place, trying to move my head in front of it, which wasn’t very effective.  With any luck, there will be wind in the parking lot so that I can arrive at work looking fashionably windblown.